thoughts on loss

I have never lost a loved one. The only grandparent I've ever been close with is still alive; I can talk to any of my siblings whenever I wish, and see my parents daily. I realize I am in the minority and not many 23 year olds can say they've never experienced true loss. Sure I've experienced loss, but never of a person or even the death of a pet. Not winning a student council election, not getting a call back after what you thought was a great interview, or even having my home destroyed in a hurricane can compare to the loss of a loved one.

Last month a girl I graduated high school with was murdered. In high school a boyfriend's best friend drowned in an icy lake. Just last week a young man I'd never met, but am friends with many who were very close died in a tragic sledding accident. In all these cases these deaths did not affect me directly, but I still felt sadness. I was hurting for those I loved that loved these people. Seeing their pain and imagining their grief brought me sadness. I almost feel guilty for these emotions. What right do I have to grieve people I don't truly know. In these times I am left feeling like an imposture or someone imposing on something very private.

Because I've never experienced true loss I am always left unsure what to say. I have no prior experience of what I would have wanted someone to say to me to help ease the pain. I know everyone grieves differently so there is no perfect way to reach out to someone in these situations, but I still feel the need to extend myself. The best I can ever offer is a simple "I am so sorry for your loss please know I am here if there is anything I can do during this difficult time." I realize that is so small and insignificant compared to the pain and grief they feel, but it's all I can offer.