Friday, April 3, 2015

judgement

I've been debating writing this post for a while, but finally decided to hit publish because I really wanted to hear your thoughts.

Today I'm talking about judgement. Not in the Biblical end of time, waiting at heaven's gate type judgement, but the judgement we pass on one another. Now I'm far from perfect so I'm not going to pretend like I'm not guilty here, but I do honestly feel really bad when I catch myself judging someone else. I think we can all agree it sucks to be judged yet we all still do it. Seriously what gives us the right to look at one little tiny piece of the puzzle of someone's life and think we know the entire story.

Here's a little story about a girl I know through being in my sorority, she wasn't in my chapter or anything but that's the easiest way to explain how I know her. Our relationship is the type where we'd like each other's Instagram posts, but aren't so close that we'd send each other embarrassing snapchat selfies. Well a few months back she announced on Facebook that she's pregnant. She's a couple of years older than me, but not married and doesn't seem to have a serious boyfriend. Now obviously when I first saw her announcement I couldn't believe the scandal; she's seriously the last person you'd ever suspect would be in this situation. But because she's not a close friend I didn't really know who to discuss the gossip with and didn't mention it to anyone. Until the other week when within 24 hours two separate friends brought it up, asking me if I knew she was pregnant. At this little opening I finally jumped at the chance to discuss this hot topic. I almost reveled in the fact that I'd already counted back the weeks to when she should have gotten pregnant and had stalked all her social media for signs of what could have happened. I took delight in the fact that I knew more than my friends about the job and life she had given up to move back home while pregnant. I'm so ashamed to say I was finding joy in judging this girl. But what I'm even more ashamed of is that I didn't even realize what I was doing.

We live in a world where we're so quick to pass judgement on one another that I think we've almost become immune to it. Calling someone out on Instagram for carrying a knockoff bag might seem harmless but it's not. We start there until it snowballs into complete websites where we discuss and judge the lives of people we don't even know. I'm not perfect and I enjoy reading GOMI as much as the next person. But after a few posts dissecting someone's private life - her serious boyfriend brokeup with her; she only can afford that because her parents and wealthy husband pay her bills; her dad was once arrested - I start to feel icky. Even though I've never written a post on that site, just by reading the posts I am part of the problem.

So my question to you is how do we stop this problem? How do we go back to a society that doesn't feel like we have the right to pass judgement on people we don't even know? How to we go from being nosey because we want to judge to nosey because we want to lend a helping hand?

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4 comments:

  1. You are literally speaking right to my soul. It's hard for me to admit but I too struggle with being SO judgmental of people I hardly know... it's something I am constantly working on myself.

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  2. I'm so guilty of this everyday. When I catch myself doing it, I'm appalled, but it's like I can't stop! Ugh.

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  4. My main issue with judgement is that I assume someone is doing WAY better than me. Like assuming their house is spotless or have tons of money based on the beautiful pictures they post on Instagram. It's just not reality. So I guess I'm making positive judgement about them, but it makes me feel bad about myself and that's not good either!!!

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